I went to a church a couple of days ago.
I have a neighbor with low vision (legally blind) who wanted to attend the funeral of a friend of hers who had died. She was at a loss about how she would get there, so I volunteered to provide transportation and protective detail.
The funeral mass was held in a Roman Catholic Church. No big deal; I was born Roman Catholic and baptized RC before I even knew my name. My plan was to dress "business casual" and to not participate in the ceremonies, recitations, etc. All in all it was a boring - very boring - three hours, but my "mission" was just to get my friend there and back with minimum stress for her.
Before the Mass itself started there was the recitation of the Rosary. Booooorrrrriiiinnnggggg! I was unable to keep my eyes open toward the end - the chanting, over and over and over, with The Lord's Prayer in between chants! Seriously, it seemed they recited the Lord's Prayer 12 times. Jesus wept! I am sure I was actually asleep for the last couple of minutes.
Then a brief break.
Then the Mass. "Blah blah, blah, stand up, sit down, stand up, kneel ( I sat), stand up, sit down, stand up, kneel ( I sat) stand up, sit down. I think this exercise program was designed by Jack LaLane! Then get in line to receive communion, or, if your from another tradition but would like a blessing, just cross your arms over your chest when you approach the altar and you'll be blessed by the Priest without the offer of wine and wafer.
The most moving thing, to me, was the eulogy for the deceased offered by her son. From what he said I realized that some people really do have good and loving mothers. She was one.
Finally it was over. I approached the son who gave the eulogy and told him he did a great job.
Conclusion: I'm not "church material" but I am willing to fulfill a promise made to a neighbor, just as any good atheist would do.
There were a few things that were different from what I remember of 57 years ago: the church I went to as a child was a traditional RC church; this one was a modern RC church, built in 1985, with a scarcity of statues, staines glass that was abstract, illustrating nothing, and GIRLS as "Altarboys"and WOMEN conducting the Rosary! Petras was a rolling stone!
...
A few years ago I attended the Greek festival sponsored by the local Greek Orthodox Church, and I took the Church tour. Lots of iconography and statues in that strange fake Greek Orthodox Icon perspective. A bit more interesting, and the food was GREAT! Lamb, Calamari, Spanikopita, Retsina, OPA! The food is always good at church festivals. If you are curious about a church, attend a festival and drink wine until the feeling passes.
